Written by Howard Bellaby

Monday, 22 January 2007

image for I thought she was bovine - Indian PM on Jade
Wot-choo lookin at?!

The Indian Prime Minister surprised journalists here in London today when he said that he bore Jade Goody no ill will. "As Hindus we find Ms Goody to be, like all cows, sacred and as such she deserves our reverence not our ire," he said.

A stunned silence followed before experienced hacks pointed out to the PM that Ms Goody was, in fact, a human.

"But she looks and acts like a cow" he responded.

Many of the hacks were forced to admit he had a point and, after a brief debate, a cow from a nearby field was called for and the PM and the writers watched it, scribbling notes, asking it questions and putting it through it's paces, for forty minutes.

In the end it was agreed that Goody certainly had many of the physical attributes of the cow - but the cow's response to many of the questions - particularly those on Marxists didactics, Hegelianism, and, knowledge of what day it was that indicated that cow and Goody, were in fact, different.

The cow was immediately hurried away by excited Channel 4 executives.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Jade Goody

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