Bi-polar disorder blamed for rising suicide rate amongst gay bears

Written by Breeze

Tuesday, 16 January 2007

image for Bi-polar disorder blamed for rising suicide rate amongst gay bears
Bi-polar bears at a Kylie concert

The shocking rise of suicides in the gay bear community has been blamed on a condition known as bi-polar disorder.

A top scientist, Professor J Caringbunny announced, "After extensive research I can confirm that the rise in gay bear suicides is down to feelings of self loathing brought on by a confused sexual identity. This is known as bi-polar disorder or bi-polar syndrome."

The disorder was first highlighted after the tragic death of 'Snowflake', a resident in London Zoo, who was found dead in his enclosure last week. An inquest into his death concluded that he had taken a lethal combination of alcohol and painkillers.

His heartbroken keeper, Bob Cageum, told us, "He was a smashing little bear, full of fun and always smiling. If only he'd told one of us how he was feeling. It's such a senseless waste."

Professor Caringbunny has been liaising with members of the gay bear community and has urged any bears who experience feelings of isolation, depression or sexual ambiguity to see a councillor.

"The help is out there if bears want it," he said today, "We have experts who can help gay bears combat the feeling of hopelessness brought on by being a homo."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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