Scotland invaded by hoards of English refugees seeking asylum!

Written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

image for Scotland invaded by hoards of English refugees seeking asylum!
Asylum seeking Bulgarians are already integrated into their new Homeland! Scotland the Brave!

Scottish border authorities are being overrun by English refugees hoping to escape the "madness"!

Nicola Sturgeon has ordered Scottish bricklayers, dressed in kilts of course, to rebuild Hadrian's Wall, hoping the "wind will blow high, laddie" so they can show the English who has the balls and who has no "Cojones!"

Nicola is welcoming all English hoping to become integrated into common-sense, and EU refugees residing in England, who could eventually be booted out, because the peat digging season is about to begin and Scotland needs Whisky, plenty of it! EU ministers love a "wee dram" of the real stuff and do not want to start paying 35% import taxes!

Roads leading to Glasgow and Edinburgh are jammed with English immigrants pushing any vehicle they can get their hands on, as long as it's not a Vauxhall. EU refugees are pushing wooden carts filled with their barest belongings and on the border, those lucky enough to escape May's MAD Tsunami, are being given kilts, sporrans and a bottle of ginger dye to help them integrate into the Scottish Highlands.

Mrs May, residing in her London Ivory Tower, built by Germans, has called Nicola a "Bitch" in diplomatic terminology, and Nicola has told Mrs May, "to stuff herself like I stuff Haggis, Lassie!"

It promise to be an interesting couple of years and May the best Bitch win! To be honest I don't give a "Nicola" or a dime, I've got Wilders, a real Bitch!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more