After his shock departure from Top Gear, Chris Evans has announced he will now present nothing.
'It's crazy' said Evans 'but I have come up with this unique concept that means I won't be doing anything.'
'No one will see or hear me ever again. Can you imagine? Mind blowing stuff!'
It was rumoured Evans had left Top Gear to develop his ideas for a new show called Bag of Ginger Shite. The title would have been shortened to the acronym BoGS and each week would feature a plastic bag from a different high street retailer containing a fresh turd curled out earlier in the day by Evans or another ginger celebrity.
'We had Ginger Spice, that bloke from Homelands and even Prince Harry potentially signing up if we'd asked them' said a spokesman 'but not even Channel 5 would touch our idea.'
After the news of Evans decision to remove himself from our tv screens, several other celebrities have promised to do the same. The list includes Cilla Black, Kenny Everett, Tony Hart, Bruce Forsyth and Simon Cowell.
Immediately social networking sites went into meltdown identifying the final two celebrities on that list are actually dead.