Celts demand land rights

Written by Whistleblower

Saturday, 23 April 2016

According to a spokesman for the Celtic Universal Rights Society (CURS), Mr Dai Jones, the Celts were driven out of what is now Britain by successive waves of invaders, such as the Romans and Anglo-Saxons, leaving them only what is now Wales and parts of Cornwall.

Mr Jones added "There is a new United Nations Declaration which provides that indigenous people are entitle to the return of their traditional tribal lands and support for their ancestral customs and culture. We expect the British government to conform to the Declaration and return Britain to us very shortly."

Mr Jones added that the new Celtic country will be renamed Ynys Celtae (The Island of the Celts), Celtic will become the national language and culture, and Druidism will become the state religion, centred on Stonehenge. Other religions, such as Christianity, will be permitted but very strongly discouraged.

Mr Jones went on to say "The Chief Druid will head the government which will be made up of qualified Druids appointed to the position, rather than the current ridiculous idea of electing a parliament. People will be far better off doing what their religious leaders tell them to do, instead of having to elect corrupt politicians every four years. Ynys Celtae will, of course, be a Socialist Republic."

As a gesture of solidarity with other indigenous people who were driven from their homelands, Scotland will be returned to the Gaelic people.

Mr Jones went on to say that the ultimate aim of CURS is to reclaim the rest of Europe for the Celtic people. "It was originally ours and we want it back!" he insisted.

The Minister for Home Affairs and Members of the European Parliament declined to comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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