Written by LEDHEAD

Wednesday, 25 March 2015

image for Limp body of Janitor found close to Isle of Siel school as worse blizzard since 1958 calms
Wee Speadie comforted by whiskey near school.

As morning broke, the only police officer on the small Isle of Siel managed to track down the whereabouts of janitor Wee Speadie who went missing last night when looking for a missing boy. As you will recall, the boy was sent home from school yesterday by the school head as weather conditions worsened.

Isla MacLean, the school head, was telephoned by the only copper on the Island to say that the body of the janitor had been found at the first cottage near the school, slumped over the kitchen table and still very drunk. Apparently he was familiar with Angus Boyle, the owner of the cottage and was told of the boys intention to piggy back home using every cottage till he got there safely. Knowing it was senseless to go any further, Wee Speadie decided to stay and sample a bottle or two of Mr Boyle' s whiskey.

The rescue operation which involved a Navy helicopter, the Oban mountain rescue team, a pack of highly trained sniffer dogs, eighteen local people, the launch of a local life boat, prayers at the local church, TV and local radio costed an estimated £180,000. Janitor, Wee Speadie claims that he had no idea of the commotion until the policeman visited this morning.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: School

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