Rally style jockey protection cages are among the proposals for "Horse Smack-Head" meetings to be staged in Afhghanistan. The unfortunate horses which are prone to accidental banned substance ingestion will race while on morphine initially, before being weaned onto methadone.
To help with their re-habilitation, the horses will need their confidences boosting by Royal Family members shouting, "Come on druggies move yer arses!" The idea of drug only races has been proposed many times before but it is thought that Royal involvement with positive horse tests will sway the racing enhancement lobby towards smack-head horse racing.
A horse rehabilitation vet at the Abbey Horse Detox and Life Coach Clinic told our reporter, "Its always a good thing when drug issues are brought out into the open, because we can then ensure that the horses get expert veterinary help before being shot."