Benefits Mum Michelle Taylor to 'Stop' after 36th Child!

Funny story written by Burnred

Sunday, 27 April 2014

image for Benefits Mum Michelle Taylor to 'Stop' after 36th Child!
Wentworth House - filling up

Pregnant baby machine, and NHS nightmare Michelle Taylor has vowed to go on the pill after the birth of her latest child, her 36th.

Michelle 39, from Rotherham who now lives in 'Wentworth House', just outside the town, is missing her friends and family at the Rothwell Grange estate. Michelle and her short-term partner Billy, were given the former home of Earl Clifford Newbold as part of the governments controversial 'Welfare Reform Acts'.

Michelle and Billy now have a 70 acre estate to maintain. Michelle said,

'I'm physically exhausted, cleaning out the duck pond, mowing the grounds is really hard work, especially since we don't have an extension lead", she continued "we have no help at all maintaining the house and land, we really could do with a groundkeeper and a servant or two".

Michelle, who's expecting her 36th child this summer, has 29 of her children picked up by a local coach company to take them to four separate schools around Lancashire, all courtesy of Rotherham city council. A council spokesman said, "This family is now responsible for 24% of our whole housing budget, something has to be done".

The family who can still be spotted doing their weekly shop at their local branch of Lidl, spend twenty times more than an 'average family' at the store. Branch deputy manager David Hullwick (19) said, "Sometimes when Michelle and her family visit the store, their bill at checkout can be as much as £46, quite frankly they keep this branch afloat". Hullwick continued, "I had her once you know, bent over a deep freezer".

Michelle who's had two children a year, by seven different fathers since the age of twelve admitted, "We cannot go on like this much longer, the strain is beginning to tell, this place has only got 46 bedrooms, and the west wing quite frankly is unusable, due to it's heritage status", she continued, "dusting and hoovering takes hours, and feeding the pack of hounds is very costly, on top of that my fanny's well sore".

Michelle hopes to get back her old three-bedroomed council house in Rotherham, and sell most of the children to Romanian immigrants.

We'll keep you posted.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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