Age Related Benefit Shock

Written by j.w.

Monday, 1 July 2013

image for Age Related Benefit Shock
Flora Robson (91) on court

The Government has been urged to re-think the whole matter of age related benefits after several amazing events.

Flora Robson (91) took the stage at Wimbledon in a short but impressive run. Tennis guru John Muckyroe (63), formerly a Tennis commentator on the court and now off it, exclaimed that Flora was a flower among tennis players and that her best years were yet to come.

Likewise Rolling Stones singer, Mick Jagger (101) astounded visitors to Glastonbury with his athletic prowess. 'He should be a contender for the next Olympics in gymnastics' said balding Clare Horsey.

So the Government, faced by oldies performing so well, is thinking of turning off their heating allowances, stopping their bus passes and ending their tv licences. 'We are living in a new era' explained political commentator Luke Twister 'old people should not face discrimination by being given benefits that are suggesting they are weak and useless. We can see how capable they are.'

Adjustments to the pension age to ensure that people continue in work until 90 are thought to be in the pipeline for all political parties after the next election.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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