Unknown nose-picker picked for Eurovision

Written by Joe Leff

Friday, 7 March 2014

A virtually unknown man from the North was unveiled last night as Britain's Eurovision contestant.

"His musical talent is not necessarily of the highest standard," said a BBC TV spokesman, "but he is likely to win viewers over by his unique style of nose-picking as an accompaniment to his singing."

BBC chiefs hope that 76-year-old Ivor Lottaboagis will revive the UK's flagging fortunes in the contest when he performs his own song 'Somewhere Up There I Can Get It'.

Ivor, from Gateshead, said "My singing has improved a lot since I started simultaneously picking my nose. It clears all the bogeys out, and also helps my breath control. And anyway, my name is no worse than Engelbert Humperdinck - who also used to do funny things when he was singing."

Fellow contestants are said to be concerned, and Eurovision producers have issued a health and safety warning. "If Mr. Lottaboagis wins, do not shake his hand, or give him a 'high-five'."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more