William Hague, Robin to Thatcher's gender bending "Batman" has secured a deal with Vladimir Putin to forget library book fines in Crimea and Ukraine and incorporate them into student loans from January 2015.
The deal which caused an emergency meeting of the Putin owned London Stock Exchange has caused unpredictable transfers of shares and stock throughout the civilised world.
As in the 1920s depression, people are getting their takeaways from soup dragons and the Salvation Army, but Arch-Faggot William Hague, who repeatedly refuses to either emerge from the closet or start to talk without putting on an over the top masculine voice was unavailable for comment.
