Feminist sheep sabotage Welsh sheep shagging conference

Funny story written by Auntie Jean

Monday, 9 December 2013

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Justina Wellies, model. Likes travelling , Would love to go to New Zealand

Dozens of sheep have staged a protest in central Cardiff to protest against the "meat market" of the pornography industry, as adult entertainment executives attended a National Sheep shagging summit in Llandudno. Dressed as butchers and smeared with fake blood, the sheep activists bleated "You're not welcome in our city," they sang. "Pornographers go home!"

The three-day film makers conference, which opened for the first time in Llandudno on Friday, is billed as an "National digital cross species media conference" for the Welsh adult entertainment industry.

Speakers include Mike Litty, president of Rustler, the pornographic farmer's magazine and website and chairman and chief executive of Private Media Group, Dick Wiggler, a producer and distributor of pornography. Its website says it is "designed to deliver cutting-edge educational seminars, engaging technology workshops, special guest keynote presentations and high-energy business-networking and deal-making opportunities bullshit.

But to the protesting sheep, the conference's slick image conceals a disturbing reality of animal exploitation in 21st-century Wales. Fonda Dix of the PwheligogochawynCymdod Sheep Feminist Network said: "This summit is being presented as a lavish, respectable corporate event, when in fact it is a brazen opportunity for the porn industry to plan new ways of profiting from the exploitation of Sheep."

Watching the protest, Madame Dick Itches, head of marketing of Television XYZ, said this argument was "simplified". "It's easy to say 'porn degrades sheep' but the sheep in the industry know what they're doing," she said.

In recent years the multi-billion pound industry has become a focus for the feminist sheep movement as fears grow over the impact its pervasive influence is having on Welsh society at large.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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