Written by dutch

Monday, 25 February 2013

image for "Is Cameron Still A Tory?" Asks Disgruntled Lord Ashcroft

Lord Ashcroft has decided not to donate any more of his hard-earned cash to the Tory Party. After giving over £10 Million in donations to the Conservatives he does not think that he is getting, "value for money".

A close pal of the peer has disclosed that Lord Ashcroft had whinged about "wasting enough of his hard-earned money on the new Tory Party". Lord Ashcroft has called into doubt whether David Cameron is 'resonating' with the grass roots Conservative supporters. The hard-working business man has said he is not wasting another penny of his hard earned money that he has earned by 'hard graft'; he does not want it squandered by the 'champagne Hooray Henries of the Bullingdon Club'.

Lord Ashcroft is not a supporter of David Cameron's brand of 'liberal conservatism'. He privately thinks that Cameron is a 'lightweight' and cares only about fringe issues such as gay marriage which appeal only to the metropolitan elite of the Conservative Party.

Indeed,Lord Ashcroft has said that he is still a Tory but has questioned, his leader's credentials and has asked, "Is Cameron still a Tory?"

So great if Lord Ashcroft's disquiet about the future of the Tory Party that he has revealed that Camreron does not, "stand the chance of a 'flea in a blast furnace' of leading the Tories to victory again in 2015.

There has been a 'rumble' amongst the big beasts of the Tory Party with "Tarzan" Heseltine and 'Bouffanted' Boris calling for Cameron to be 'let go', along with 'Lord Snooty,' George Osbourne. The grandees have complained that the present modern Tories bear no resemblance to the Conservatism which Margaret Thatcher embodied in the 1980s. "Tarzan" Heseltine has called his old foe Margaret the "iron lady" and has said "Come back Maggie all is forgiven we need you to clear up all this financial mess."

The Tory Party is abuzz with rumours that a 'big beast' will attempt to 'wrong-foot' Cameron and stage a coup. Indeed, Boris and Michael Portillo have been scheming in Machiavellian fashion about how they will 'clean up' if Cameron is 'let go' and try to 'get rid of Cleggy boy as a first dastardly deed'.

Anne Widdecombe is said to have a big grin on her face and has grimly said to supporters, "There will be no get out of jail card for Huhne if I am elected as Home Secretary."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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