Written by Jaggedone

Friday, 1 February 2013

image for "Hooligirl" grandma banned from local shop!
You're never too old to be a hooligirl!

A grandma pushing her zimmerframe through a UK supermarket has been banned for bullying staff and causing havoc in the aisles by knocking down cans of stacked baked beans and other special offers.

Another reason why granny, Christine Crow, was banned was because she failed a breathalyser whilst being restrained by security guards in the store; she told them "to piss off!"

After being escorted out of the supermarket the manager told the local press that she would be banned from shopping at the store until she offers an apology to the staff and promises never to be caught again drunk-driving her zimmerframe through the aisles again!

Christine told him to "piss off" and in the future will now shop at a rival store where they have a more tolerant policy towards drunken zimmerframe drivers. They even have drying-out zones in their shops for hooligirl OAP's who are either "pissed" off or just looking for a bit of action and attention.

When asked to clarify their position, they refused to comment directly on their policy towards hooligirl zimmerframe pushers, but did mention the fact that if they caught one acting in a anti-social manner, she would be shot on sight!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: hooligans, OAP's

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