Isle of Dogs - Archaeologists are dead pleased at today's find of royal remains under Barking's Primadoner Kebab Emporium take-away.
The Plantagenet king's bones were discovered during an elf 'n' safety procedure following complaints about a whiffy pong near the rotisserie.
This afternoon Isle of Dogs hysterians identified the semi-fossilised scraps as authentic bits of King Henry IV, missing since the notorious Barking food poisoning outbreak of 1413.
The discovery reopens a rival archaeological dig's controversial claims of exhuming the former Henry of Bolingbroke's torso in Spitalfields at the bottom of a foundling hospital well.
Some say an inscription - much like 'Callous' found written on Queen Mary Tudor's heart - has been detected on Henry's corpse along the lines of 'Shish Happens'.
It is hoped the two royal halves will now be reunited for reburial at the royal mausoleum ceremony in Frogmore.
The Primadoner's kelftiko is a right royal bargain at just under four squid.
