Greater Manchester police free a teenage sex slave

Funny story written by IainB

Sunday, 6 May 2012


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One of the many photos police recovered from the house

Police in Greater Manchester raided a house in Levenshulme in the early hours of Saturday morning after neighbours reported that a teenage boy was being held captive by a gang of girls and used for sex.

"It was constant," said neighbour, Gary Dory. "Day and night. We'd hear him begging for them to stop, the moans and groans were load enough to wake Tommy, our tortoise, from his hibernation."

Police led the contrite ladies from the house in handcuffs and took them in for questioning.

"We were surprised," said detective in charge, Bonny King. "The girls all seemed very respectable. There were two nurses, a police constable, a hairdresser and a three air hostesses. We thought they would know better than to enslave a poor defenceless boy like this and force him to have sex up to ten times a day. According to witnesses."

The teenager, seventeen year old Ian Teakhorse who cannot be named for legal reasons, was apparently distraught when he was rescued by police.

"We think there may be some Copenhagen Syndrome, or is Stockholm syndrome? One or the other," said DI King. "Anyway, when we found him, he wasn't tied up or anything. He was in the bathroom cleaning his teeth. We had to drag him from the house. His parents were pleased that we'd finally located him. They'd reported him missing three months ago."

Neighbour, Gary Dory, watched Teakhorse as the police dragged him to safety.

"The poor boy was clearly distressed," said Dory. "He kept screaming that he wanted to go back in and that the police were bastards. If they release the women, I'm wondering if they'll need a new guy in there. I'm available."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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