An initiative aimed at winning back support for the Tories from anyone who has not been to a public school has been finalised. We have been leaked secret papers circulating in the corridors of power.
They set out the Tory plans for driverless government. The aim is to achieve driverless government before the next election, following the great success found for driverless trains and driverless cars.
A backbench Tory told us: 'It is about time Cameron found something to do which will make us popular. Think of the money we will save through driverless government!' Civil servants are more cautious. 'These proposals will be examined positively' said top bureaucrat Oliver Dull 'but we can envisage a few problems inherent in this policy.'
One worry is if the government should crash when it is without a driver. Would the country come off the rails?
Concerns of this type were raised with respect to trains and cars being driverless but history has shown that fewer crashes have taken place when comparisons are made with the days when drivers raged in the streets.
A computer whizkid - who wants to remain anonymous - has set up the new system for the government. He has been occupied with other activities recently but is known to be an expert on all aspects of government.
