Dinner Guest List Horror

Written by j.w.

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

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Dinner Guest for No 10

"After great pressure from a media out to get me I am becoming transparent and providing names of all my Dinner guests for the current year."

So runs the latest press release from the Cameron publicity machine. It is clear that some of these guests have been putting something in his back pocket for years and there is nothing wrong with that! After all they were all pals at Eton together and have to remember the old school tie and the motto 'We're all in this together, chaps!'

Others are friends who love to chat over the fois gras and after eights - pals from the PM's 2nd hand car selling days and other poor relations (PR).

Certain names can be extracted from the guest lists which could be significant if we are to believe the rumours that financial support for the Tories by substantial backers can lead to policy changes. For instance we have Sir Jonathon Turnpike - oil punter, who bets on whether oil prices will go up or down. Scientific advisor Ferdinand Blind who is convinced climate change is total rubbish then we have financial experts Sir Oscar Ramsbottom and Ferinand Oligopoly. Pillars of the community.

It is clear that the full horror of this guest list has not yet sunk home in the wider population. Contrary to some suggestions the guest lists represent a true cross section of society and they are people of impecible integrity who have never sought to get anything from the millions of pounds they have given to the Conservative Party. Self-interst is the last thing any of them would sink to.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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