Homebuyers "Thin On The Ground"

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

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Be careful when buying in Scotland!

Astonishing research released today demonstrates that home buying really does affect Scots' figures.

Scotland's surveyors have reported optimism among house sellers, despite buyers remaining "thin on the ground".

The Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors Scotland (RICS) also found their members are the most negative in the UK about how many sales will be achieved in the next three months.

But they were most astonished by the effect of housebuying on Scots' bodies.

"You look at them standing up, and they're perfectly normal," said Cumbernauld estate agent Tam Snodgrass. "But when you knock 'em over and they hit the ground, they go all thin - you almost can't see them, making it difficult to go through their pockets."

South of the border, estate agents' spokesman Nev German, said: "No such problem here, mate. We scalp 'em before they hit the ground."

*EIF News & Features would like to apologise to our less politically correct readers for not interviewing a horribly cheap celtic stereotype for this article. We will strive for a higher standard in future items.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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