London - The Queen's face turned puce this morning as flunkeys revealed the ID of the 'Secret Valentine' being parachuted in by human frights lawyers to dinner at the Palace tomorrow night.
Apparently it's part of the rehabilitation of fat extremist - er, sorry, slightly rotund foreign radical! - Abu Qatada whose release from HMP Belmarsh today comes with some attractive parole perks.
The news was greeted with 'dismay' by Palace chefs who confirmed this afternoon they've been given tomorrow night off.
However one of the kitchen staff has tweeted a sneak preview of the menu specially requested by Qatada following a regime of gruel and crow during his years of incarceration.
The evening will now commence with an Insanesbury's Waste The Difference Valentine's Happy Meal For Two that will see the bearded one chomp his way through a double helping of the supermarket's delicacies.
Starters include Just Cook Cold Turkey Lattice Topper followed by Curried Moroccan Goat Surprise (vegan version and a stuffed Brazilian nut bombe glacée (Carlos the Jackal's personal recipe).
The Queen will abstain from the festive feasting owning to an emergency 24-hour fast imposed by Palace food tasters...'just in case'.
Mrs Qatada has not been invited.
