Boris Johnson, the weirdly haired loon who runs London, has accused esteemed BBC political frontman Sir Andrew Neil of touching him inappropriately.
Boris, who is currently in Davos deliberating with fellow strangefellows, has told Abu Dhabi-financed news outlet Al-Jazeera that Sir Andrew grasped his groin and smiled in a sinister way during an interview at the Conservative Party Conference in October.
Scotland Yard - when eventually reached for a comment by circumventing their unlisted telephone number - said they were black and, that being the case, they couldn't be expected to offer a valid opinion especially as they were currently being beaten up by policemen.
Sir Andrew Neil has posted a response on the BBC website but it's been determined by the Board of Governers to be rambling, incoherent and peppered with anti-English abuse so I'm reluctant to reproduce it.
