Washing Powder Company drops Alan Hansen

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Thursday, 22 December 2011


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image for Washing Powder Company drops Alan Hansen
a recent campaign for Mulatto Washing Powder

More bad news for football pundit Alan Hansen after a lucrative Sponsorship deal with Washing Powder manufacturer Mulatto was controversially and publicly ended today. The axing is believed to be a result of his ill-advised comments on Match of the Day, where he referred to black and ethnic minority players as 'coloured'.

At a hastily convened press conference, a spokesman for Mulatto said "We feel our unique position in the marketplace as the only washing powder that lets you mix your whites and your coloureds has become compromised and feel we need to move in a different direction. We would like to thank Alan Hansen for all of his hard work with the brand and wish him every success with whatever shelf-stacking job he manages to secure after this unfortunate episode."

Hansen has received widespread critisism on Social Networking site Titter - Paragon of Virtue, Stan Collymore, said of Hansen's comments "Coloured am I? What am I a freaking Fruit Pastel? An Opal Fruit? a Dulux colour wheel! Alan Hansen? Alan Hitler more like!"

As if to add insult to injury the Musical Version of Alan Hansen's life story - "Alan Hansen and his Multcultural Dreamcoat" - has received poor reviews and may close due to a slump in ticket sales.

The show is best known for the song "Coat of many Coloureds" and features the lyrics:

How I love my coat of many coloureds it was...
ebony and jet and white and brown
And coffee and black and ochre and peach
And dark brown and olive and violet and fawn
And mocha and gold and chocolate and mauve
And cream and crimson and rose
And purple and white and pink and orange

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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