Thames 'Nessie' lurks outside 2012 Stadium

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

image for Thames 'Nessie' lurks outside 2012 Stadium
Fears for London 2012 Triathlon swimmers and the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Barge sail-past

London - "Maybe it's escaped from the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain," is how one wildlife expert assessed the situation this morning.

Wildlife shots of the mystery beastie - definitely not doctored by the BBC or David Attenborough - show a Loch Ness type of 'monster' snaffling up a Canada goose as it skimmed the Thames outside the Olympic Stadium.

Early reports also blamed a stray alligator, a giant pike, a rogue turtle or even an out-of-control 'python'.

But whatever it is its presence is causing havoc for organisers of the 2012 Triathlon whose swimmers could now be re-routed from that stretch of the river to calmer, less-infestated London waters.

News of the sighting is also ominous for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Thames Pageant which will feature a souped-up royal barge for HM and Philip.

Last night there were reports of a hysteria at Buckingham Palace after somebody told the Queen her boat 'could be sucked up by a giant freshwater squid'.

Fortunately a Royal Navy submarine armed with Stingray torpedoes will now be dispatched on a search-and-destroy mission.

Prince William may assist in his RAF chopper in case the operation somehow goes belly-up.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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