Christmas Consumers Warned - Beware Of Counterfeit Spoof Items

Written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

image for Christmas Consumers Warned - Beware Of Counterfeit Spoof Items
Mr Lowton Playing Rock, Paper, Scissors This Morning

The UK Consumer Awareness Foundation today issued a statement warning consumers to beware of counterfeit Spoof news items on satirical website

Counterfeit Spoof news items have been a recurrent trend in recent years, particularly during the Christmas season, despite site administrator Mark Lowton's best attempts to eliminate them. Historically, an alarming number of factual articles have appeared on the site at yuletide, masquerading as satire, or just masquerading as downright lies.

When they are in fact, verifiably, the truth.

"It can be terribly frustrating," Mr Lowton revealed. "I get stories submitted to the site which really tickle my fancy, like one I had today about a man getting a banana cake stuck to his teeth, or one a couple of days ago about Spurs racing to sign young Alfie Starling, but sometimes they turn out not to be spoofs at all, just faithful reportage of actual facts, and that just leaves me with egg on my face. If only people would stick to the rules and submit a bewildering pack of lies, it would make my life so much easier."

It appears that in late December, it isn't only Mr Lowton's site that suffers from a dearth of alien abduction, sexual dysfunction, or topsy turvy innuendo. Other sites are also plagued with faithful and straightforward reporting, which doesn't give online satirical sites such a loopy, off the wall profile as is the norm in the summer months.

"It's tough," administrator for satire site www.rehashednews.con reported. "It's almost as if everybody gets sensible at Christmas, or something. Having said that though, when our reporters run out of ideas, we have a quite large archive, so we can just recycle the same old shit over and over again. And that."

Chart topping reporter for satire site www.lookatthementalloony.cum, Edwina Cyst, told reporters:

"It isn't a problem for me, to be honest. My input is consistent year in and year out. I just write about me. Because I'm more important than anybody else in the whole wide world. None of it's remotely funny, but who cares? Are you real? Is anybody real? Is there a world going on outside my own head?"

The last word goes to Mr Lowton:

"I just hope that people can focus on writing absolute bollocks, but please don't let them insert profanities into their headlines. Or say anything that isn't outrageous and controversial. That sort of thing gives me a real headache."

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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