Mother faces £170,000 bill after being arrested

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

image for Mother faces £170,000 bill after being arrested
Ms James faces another court hearing

Stockport single mother of two, Ellie James, is facing a bill of over one hundred and fifty thousand pounds childcare bill today, a bill she can hardly cover.

Ms James was arrested two years ago after taking part in a demonstration in London over the proposed childcare cuts.

"The demonstration turned sour," said James. "It started off peaceful, but things got out of hand when the police kettled us into Trafalgar Square."

Ms James had left her two children with child minder, Zoé Trope while she went to the capital to take part in the demonstration. However, after being arrested for hitting a policeman with a three foot long baguette and a cucumber, she was taken to a prison in Islington.

The police officer she hit remembers the incident well. "I've never liked cucumbers," said PC Desktop. "And that baguette was stale."

Zoé Trope is adamant that she requires paying, in full.

"I charge five pounds an hour per child," she said. "That's not unreasonable. It's quite a good rate actually, considering I'm Ofsted inspected. I've had little Wayne and Rhianna for just over two years. At ten pounds an hour, that's a hundred and seventy grand she owes me. I deserve it. Rhianna's a little monster."

Miss Trope will be taking Ellie James to court to get her money, but Ms James does not know how she can pay the bill.

"I've lost my job," she said. "As far as I can see, I've got two options. I either sell the kids or myself. I've been through enough. Anybody want to buy two children? Hundred grand each. That sounds pretty fair to me. Besides, I could do with making something out of this mess."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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