Republican Office Worker Hits Horse Racing Trifecta Jackpot

Funny story written by Philbert of Macadamia

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

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Political Stakes Race

Monmouth Park NJ: There is a new multi-millionaire in the Garden State today, as a New Jersey man hits it big on the sport of king's playing the trifecta. (A trifecta is a bet where the bettor must predict which horses in a race will finish first, second, and third in the exact order.)

Tom is employed at a Wall Street bank in Manhattan as an accountant, a staunch Governor Chris Christie Republican and commutes every day to the Big Apple. Tom watched President Obama's Congressional Joint Session speech and was not impressed with the president's same old Keynesian litany for fixing the US economy. Even the following televised NFL season opening football game couldn't cheer Tom up.

The following morning, still dismayed, Tom called in sick deciding to go to the track and catch a couple of horse races. The racing season in New Jersey had just opened. By the third race Tom was still down, but noticed three horses Economically Clueless, Stimulus Package and Infrastructure listed on the racing form. The temptation was too great to resist, but all three horses faded during the race.

By the fifth race Tom was still way down in the doldrums, but noticed three horses Balanced Budget, Lower Taxes and Reduce Spending listed on the racing form. The temptation again was too great to resist, resulting in a horseplayer's dream.

Reporters asked what Tom will do with the money? My wife will get what remains after the Internal Revenue Service (IRS), the State of New Jersey and the State of New York taxes are deducted. The fun part will be watching New York tax officials arguing with New Jersey tax officials about whether I owe New York taxes because of playing hooky from work!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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