Liverpool's unlucky 13 to open academy

Funny story written by DashingHero

Friday, 17 June 2011

Liverpool's unlucky 13, a group of highly paid but rarely seen players that includes Christian Poulson and Joe Cole, have joined together to create the world's first football academy for bench players and no hopers.

The Winston Bogarde Football Academy, which will be built on the site of Liverpool's proposed new stadium in Stanley Park, will be exclusively for those professionals, or would-be professionals, who sign lucrative contracts but seldom play a game of football.

It is expected that many of the most highly paid but under played professionals will enrol in courses that includes: Warming up and Contract Negations. Already, useless premiership players such as Milan Jovanovic, David Bentley, Bebe, John O' Shea, Michael Carrick, Michael Owen have expressed interest in joining. Jordan Henderson is another who is expected to spend time at the Academy over the course of the season.

Academy CEO, Joe Cole, expressed delight at the number of enrolments and said that this was only the beginning of better things to come for mediocre footballers:

"If you're a second-rate player, then right now the world is your oyster. You can contribute absolutely nothing to society and still be paid a king's ransom. I'm so glad that I can kick a ball."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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