Old Firm Summit Targets Sectarianism

Funny story written by grimbo

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

image for Old Firm Summit Targets Sectarianism

Th summit meeting held in Edinburgh yesterday to address the increasing anti social behaviour at Old Firm games has already borne fruit.

The meeting, called by First Minister Alex Salmond, brought together representatives of Strathclyde Police, Celtic, Rangers , the SFA and the SPL.

The first measures to be introduced focus on the thorny issue of sectarianism, and are sure to ruffle more than a few feathers in view of the fact that interests outside football will be affected.

CR Smith, Everest and all other major window suppliers are to be prohibited from using the word 'sash' in any of their advertising or publicity material, because of the word's associations with one of Rangers fans' most controversial songs.

Bayern Munchen Gladbach , one of the Budesliga's premier clubs, will in future be referred to only as Bayern Munich Gladbach in any corespondence or communications with Scottish football authorites. Its felt that the 'Munchen' part of their name strays too close to one of the derogatory nicknames that Celtic fans are called, when preceded by 'tattie'.

Even worse, the world of popular music has also been drawn into this odious debate.

George and Ira Gershwin, the legendary 1920's composers of such classics as "Porgy and Bess" and "Rhapsody In Blue", will henceforth be referred to as George Gershwin and his older brother.

Its felt that the song writer's name would conjure up too many memories of Northern Ireland in pre Good Friday Agreement times.

More provocative announcements are expected.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more