Gattuso Gets Four-Match Ban

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 22 February 2011


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image for Gattuso Gets Four-Match Ban
Reconstruction: actors show how it happened

AC Milan's Gennaro Gattuso has been banned from head-butting for four matches after clashing with Tottenham assistant coach Joe Jordan during a Champions League tie.

Midfielder Gattuso headbutted Jordan following his side's 1-0 defeat in the first leg of their last-16 match at the San Siro and has since apologised. He will not now be allowed to head-butt until the derby with Inter Milan at the San Siro on Sunday 3 April.

European football's governing body UEFA handed down the punishment after a disciplinary hearing on Monday.

Milan have said that they will not appeal against the decision.

The veteran Italian headbutted Jordan as tempers flared at full-time in Milan 1-0 Champions League.

Jordan and Gattuso were engaged in a furious row on the touchline. The Italian, a former Glasgow Rangers player, who first learned how to execute the perfect head-butt during Ibrox training sessions, said:

"I lost control. There is no excuse for what I did. I take my responsibilities for that, and I will accept the punishment and not head butt anyone during the next four games, no matter what happens," later adding "The derby should be interesting though!"

Later, the Milan captain said:

"I was nervous. We were both speaking Scottish, which is different from English in that it is generally spoken through clenched teeth, and after having drunk a vast amount of alcohol.
I told him: "Haway wi' yoo, Joe! D'ya facken ken wh'am talken aboot, ya twonkee facken cunt?

"He looked at me in that Glasgow way which usually precedes a head-butt by either, or both of, the parties, and I reacted first. It was only a head-butt. It was either that or shake hands, and Joe still had his hands in his pockets!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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