Tiger Woods Spits All The Time At Home - And Worse!

Funny story written by Mister Meaner

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

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Golf and 'gollying' are inextricably linked

Former world number 1 golfer Tiger Woods has apologised for the spitting incident that cost him a fine at the Dubai Desert Classic, but says he does it all the time at home.

Woods spat on the ground, a few feet from the hole, after missing a putt at the 12th in his final round on Sunday. He sniffed up strongly, and choked forward on an enormous 'greeny', which he then dispensed onto the putting surface.

In so doing, Woods breached the European Tour's code of conduct and will be fined an undisclosed sum.

"It was inconsiderate to spit like that and I know better. Thing is, I do it all the time at home. Even indoors," he wrote on his Twitter account.

The 35-year-old was caught on camera spitting at other times during the event and he was also heard swearing.

He tweeted:

"Everyone was terrific all week, fans especially. Dubai is always a bit strict on stuff like this. Good job they didn't notice when I popped off the side of the 15th fairway into those bushes for a quick dump. That would REALLY have been trouble!"

Woods' closing round of 75 in Dubai was his worst finish in a regular European Tour event, and he has now gone more than 14 months without a title.

The 14-time major winner looked set for a great finish after heading into the final day only one shot off the pace, but he fell away with wind, and had to empty his bowels in the trees before finishing seven shots behind eventual winner Alvaro Quiros.

Woods was also spotted flicking four bogeys and one double bogey during his final-round 75.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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