Dutch league football is starved of top quality and their players are starving too!
Proof of this was the televised game between Ajax Amsterdam and PSV Eindhoven. The game was a 0-0 bore but the happenings after were very "tasty"!
Luis Suarez, who once claimed he was on his way to Manchester United (in his dreams), was so starved of any decent service and a bit of half time orange, he decided to take a bite out of one of his opponents shoulders.
"I am not a cannibal," he claimed, "I was just bloody starving!"
Dutch football has been 'starved' of any decent football ever since their superstars decided to earn their 'bread and butter' in foreign countries, but this latest incident only goes to prove:
If you pay peanuts, you get man-eating gorillas to perform!
In his defence Suarez did admit that his favourite TV viewing before a match is watching old videos of Mike Tyson biting the ears of his opponents and has vowed never to start a footie match without his favourite snack, "toro's cojones boiled in toro's blood, luvvely"!
What a relief for his opponents!