Rose Bares It All

Funny story written by Spicewood

Tuesday, 19 October 2010


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Rose in Disguise at a recent Yankee game

Baseball's hits king told us in an interview Tuesday that it's taken him a long time to realize that Giamatti wanted him to "'fess up and take responsibility" for his actions after he got a lifetime ban for gambling.

He freely admitted to gambling on baseball games, gambling in Las Vegas, betting on horses with a bookie in New Rochelle, having a stable of "hookers," at least one, sometimes two in every league city, being a sex addict, drinking excessively and being a registered sex offender, in 17 baseball cities.

He's doing that now. Rose has been reaching out to former Big Red Machine teammates and apologizing. He said it was not only embarrassing, but extremely time consuming listing all of the offenses and violations that he was actually guilty of.

Rose says he's "perfectly happy inside right now."

The Reds celebrated the 25th anniversary of his record-setting hit No. 4,192 on September 11. He also admitted during that ceremony, that to fully and completely take responsibility for his actions he felt compelled to admit that he had engaged in an extended clandestine sexual affair with Mrs. Giamatti.

Rose stated, "I have fulfilled all of his requirements, and some he didn't expect. I think I should be considered for entry into the Baseball Hall of Fame, and possibly some others."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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