Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 16 September 2010

image for New York Jets Coach Says That Ines Sainz Should Dress More Like The Average Drab Looking, Frumpy Female Reporter Instead of Like A Victoria's Secret Model
A photo of Miss Sainz taken last week at the soccer game between the Monterrey Matadors and the Toluca Toros.

NEW YORK CITY - The New York Jets fumble crew coach, Timmy "The Hands" Blumentelli, said that Ines Sainz, a reporter for Mexico's TV Azteca Network should not have been dressed like one of the Victoria's Secret models.

He pointed out that when Sainz entered the Jets locker room she should have been dressed more like the normal American female reporters who dress kind of like the pioneer women of the 1880s.

Blumentelli said that it is an unwritten code that the American reporters dress extremely frumpy on purpose so that they do not get whistled at, hit on, or pinched on the ass.

Alexis Yazheimer, 29, a reporter for Sports Territory Magazine, says that she used to dress like Sainz does, but after about the ninth time in two weeks that she got her cute little ass slapped she decided to dress like Granny Clampett of the Beverly Hillbillies and viola, no more butt slaps, tit touches, or crotch caressing.

Another female reporter, Marla Dartcrosser, 36-24-36, who works for ESPN 4 and who was the 1999 Miss Southern Belle from her home state of South Carolina said that she used to wear Daisy Duke short shorts, no bra, and six inch stiletto heels but admits that she spent more time telling players to quit touching her buns than she did asking them questions regarding the game.

She said that once she switched over to wearing her father's loose fitting jeans, her brother's work shirts, and her grandmother's flip flops the passes (no pun intended) suddenly stopped.

The New York Jets organization has said that they will get to the bottom (no pun intended) of this sexual harrassment charges by Miss Sainz and if any players, coaches, or even hot dog vendors are found to be guilty they will be fired immediately.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: It is no secret that Miss Ines Sainz certainly wears the tightest fitting jeans that a woman could ever possibly wear. In fact, even one of her fellow female reporters, Veronica Casa de Oro, who stands 5 foot 6 and weighs 118, remarked that Ines wears her jeans so tight that you can even see the outline of both of her ovaries.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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