Tiger Woods Marries Rachel Uchitel!

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Saturday, 4 September 2010


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You would have thought that Tiger Woods would have waited a decent amount of time between his official divorce with now former wife Elin Nordegren, but he apparently was in a hurry and good judgment is not one of Tiger's noted specialties of late.

So, the reports coming out this morning that he has already secretly married Rachel Uchitel should be no surprise to anyone.

Elin is furious according to a friend. "She stated that it wouldn't surprise her if he had gotten married the same evening they signed the divorce papers."

The source told our reporter that the divorce papers say that Tiger can share the kids on visits but that Elin may either go back to court or have the children have an escort with them at all times.

Meanwhile Tiger was all smiles but wouldn't comment to our reporter or any other reporters asking him about the marriage.

"I hope Rachel Uchitel lasts a month and sues for the rest of Tiger's money", stated the source. "She has Elin's permission to suck him dry as far as she is concerned."

Elin herself was recently quoted as saying, "I still care for Tiger, but he's a complete sex addict. Rachel will learn this very quickly."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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