After announcing the big name signing of Joe Cole, Roy Hodgson, manager of Liverpool football club, has seen the media furore this has generated, and put in big bids for the other Coles.
First considering it, is Ashley Cole, although it will take a lot to tempt him to Liverpool, which is slightly closer to the Northeast, and his ex-wife. However, the deal on the table is such that he is said to be seriously considering it.
Andrew Cole, currently playing for non-league Belgium team, Brushphart, has said to have leapt at the chance to play along side Ashley and Joe, although Nike, Liverpool's shirt manufacturer are now scratching their heads over how to distinguish between Andy and Ashley Cole on the back of the shirts. A.Cole just will not cut it.
Hodgson hasn't stopped there. He has found Carlton Cole living in the back of an Astra Estate in Aberystwyth and offered him a year's long deal.
One time Australian international football, Gary Cole, was up until this morning, the manager of an obscure Australian girls team, but now is now set to partner Andy Cole up front for the oldest strike force in the Premier League. Hodgson was said to be very disappointed that Norman Cole has been dead for twenty-five years, whilst Dan Cole plays Rugby Football, not Association Football.
Coleen Rooney has been approached to be a Wag for any of the Coles on Liverpool's books, whilst Cole Porter's songs will be played as the run out songs.
"I've still got several places to fill," said Hodgson unveiling his new signings at a press conference. "I'm tracking down Nat King Cole and I'm going to try and tempt Jeffery Wayne Cole away from the porn industry. He has a sweet left foot."
Hodgson had one final message: "If you're surname is Cole, or better yet, if your forename and surname are Cole, then we want to hear from you. Only Coles need apply."
