World Cup Cheating Scandal

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 5 July 2010

image for World Cup Cheating Scandal
Mexican goalkeeper Perez pleads with the ref to send the linesman off

The honour of the world cup in South Africa was under threat last night, amid allegations that the whole competition has been fixed so that the best two teams will eventually meet each other in the Final.

It's even been claimed that the eventual winner is already known - the best team on the day - and that even the date of the Final itself has been fixed - July 11th.

Officials tried to play down the rumours this morning, saying that teams were drawn into groups "in the fairest possible way" by drawing the team's names out of a specially-developed machine, but critics have questioned how so many of the 'fancied teams' have managed to avoid each other so that they might progress to the second stage of the tournament.

For example, each of the eight groups, appear, at first glance, to contain two 'fancied' teams, one team that could, just possibly, spring a surprise, and one team that must have seriously wondered whether or not it was worth spending the money on the airfare.

There have been one or two surprises - Italy and France, for example - where teams played like a set of complete tossers and couldn't progress, but, in the main, the World Cup has panned-out exactly as the organisers fixed it.

Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan criticised the way his nation had the bad luck to be drawn in a group with Argentina, Greece and South Korea, and the North Koreans must have been nodding to themselves knowingly, as they were provided as 'cannon fodder' for Brazil.

A man said there was no case for the organisation to answer, and that the World Cup has been a "played out in a gentlemanly and sporting way, and has been completely fair and above board".

Apart from all the injury-faking, rolling around, intimidating the referee and trying to get rival players booked and sent off.

Oh, and the lack of any goal-line technology.

That really was scandalous.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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