England manager Fabio Capello was arrested earlier today for assaulting German national football team coach Joachim Low. Apparently the two manager were enjoying a peaceful beer together when suddenly, Capello smashed his bottle over Mr. Low's head.
"I honestly have no idea why he did it."
Capello then proceeded to use his newly learned 'ground and pound' attack on Low. It has been reported Capello has recently taken an Extreme Kickboxing class.
"Yes, he smashed a bottle over my head. Then he decided to sit on my chest while he pounded at my face. I honestly don't know why he did it. The man's clearly sick."
Capello was arrested and was reportedly drunk at the time. Officers said "yeah we arrested him. We sat him down at the table at the station, and he just suddenly vomited. Fuckin' scummer."
Capello has now been sent to a rehabilitation facility. He has been off the booze for 3 days now. Good luck to him.
