Keira Knightley Attends Disabled Weightlifting Display In Dagenham

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Monday, 29 March 2010

image for Keira Knightley Attends Disabled Weightlifting Display In Dagenham
Keira Always Counts The Calories

Pirates Of The Caribbean star Keira Knightley yesterday attended a display of weightlifting by the disabled in a Basildon community hall.

The English rose herself watched intently as four disabled people - all from Dagenham - tackled a variety of weights for her consideration.

Ms Knightley announced that it was an honour and a privelege to be linked to such a noble and free spirited activity as disabled weightlifting, and wished all four participants every success in the upcoming Disabled Weightlifting Championships to be held in Halifax next month.

An invitation was extended to Miss Knightley to partake of a mug of strong tea with the tealeaves in the bottom and a nice plate of pie and mash, but she was unable to join the disabled weightlifters and their helpers as she had already spent seven minutes in the community hall and had to press on to a prearranged engagement opening a newsagents shop in Dartford.

Disabled weightlifter Hovis Crackerbread remarked:

"It was a shame she had to shoot off like that, but it's happen as well she did because me lumbago was starting to play me up."

Mr Crackerbread added that Miss Knightley wasn't as tall as he'd expected, and that in his opinion a good portion of pie and mash wouldn't have done her any harm either.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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