Rafa Plays It Cool - Remains Defiant

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 14 January 2010


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Rioja Reds Rule

Rafa Benitez displayed a blatantly defiant front at an Anfield press conference this morning following his Liverpool team's embarrassing home FA Cup exit at the hands of lowly Reading, which saw the home team booed off the pitch at full time by their own 'loyal' supporters.

Far from being apologetic and dignified, the Reds manager came out with all guns blazing as fans declared that enough is enough, and that he should go.

"I'm going nowhere," Benitez announced to astonished reporters. "I have a contract here, and it would cost the club millions of pounds - which they don't have anyway - to break that contract. Plus it would cost them even more millions to appoint another manager - which again, they don't have. I laugh up my sleevies at Hicks and Gillet. These men are fools."

Asked what the club had left to play for this season, the reply came with the Europa League, and fourth or fifth place in the Premiership table, depending upon whether Manchester City and Tottenham get their shit together.

When asked about injuries to Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres, Benitez simply shrugged and said:

"Shit happens."

A supporters spokesman then asked what plans Benitez had long term to restore some pride in the club.

"I no speak to you," the manager said. "You boo my team offa da pitch, I fart in your direction. Hijo De Puta."

Benitez announced then that he was going home to cook some paella and polish off a few bottles of rioja.

More as I dream it up.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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