Priceless Alan Shearer Art Work Stolen

Funny story written by Katarina Frogpond2

Friday, 27 November 2009

image for Priceless Alan Shearer Art Work Stolen
A Picture of "Tyne Bridge in Abstract Autumn Sunlight"

Priceless Artwork painted by former England and Newcastle Striker Alan Shearer has been stolen. The painting known as "Tyne Bridge in Abstract Autumn Sunlight" was stolen from a safe at St James's park just 48 hours before it was set to be auctioned at half time on Saturday.

The police say a calling card was left at the scene and the name on the card said "Stolen by Geordie McMaxwell". This was shocking to those "in the know" in the art world because Geordie McMaxwell is the alias of the most daring Art thief the world has ever known.

He has stolen from some of the most secure Art Galleries in the world,including the Louvre in Paris and the White Cube in London. His most notable triumph for art crime, however, was when he stole Edward Munch's "I scream" from the Apple Mac Gallery in silicon Valley, California. Steve Jobs was so devastated he had to take 6 months off work.

Katarina Frogpond (that's me) is set to travel to Newcastle this very day to investigate this terrible loss for Geordie people. In the course of her investigation, she will be interviewing several suspects. (She's not just going there to party down the Quayside like she usually does)

She doesn't want to name any names but,...she will be popping round Kevin Keegan's house to see if he has an allibi. Katarina has been investigating this case for the past 10 weeks and for this purpose has been moving in ever increasingly Arty circles. She's learned how to paint and may herself be exhibiting some Art work in a show early next year.

In the meantime, however, she will be hiding her Art in a safe, inside a vault, inside a volcano, on an island, in the middle of the pacific Ocean, because now Katarina knows how clever Geordie McMaxwell is, she won't be taking any chances. She is determined that her art will be preserved forever - safe from the clutches of Geordie McMaxwell.

By Katarina Frogpond

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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