In a bizarre twist to Fabio Capello's managerial reign of the England national football team, he has ordered each and every member of his squad to have a Brazilian style trim of their downstairs topiary.
When asked about his strange request Fabio made the following statement:
"It is true, yes, that I have asked my players to trim their private hairs. I have instructed my players to do this because the owners of the Khalifa Stadium have asked that we do not block their plug holes in the showers with our hair."
It is thought that the strange request was as a result of the national water shortage suffered in Mexico after the 1986 World Cup when England player Glenn Hoddle suffered a freak bout of alopecia in the showers.
Pubic ergonomitrist, Trudy Pang, said that, "The England boys with their new hair dos should find, with the extra freedom, that they are able to move far quicker around the pitch. I think Pele shaved his balls aswell"