For the first time since Phil The Power Tailor appeared in 1998, non sporting individuals will be allowed to attend the BBC's flagship event, Sports Personality of the year.
"We are looking to make the event attractive to our core demographic profile," said a BBC spokesman, "those that can afford to buy pizza every Saturday and watch strictly cum prancing. This is why we have introduced new awards, including 'best bladder control whilst watching MotD 2' and 'best cardio vascular performance whist abusing a referee'."
Tickets are priced at £350 each and proceeds will be put towards a Sky Sports Subscription so that live action can be shown at the event for the first time in 5 years.
