It has been announced that all athletes who will be competing in future athletic events will undergo compulsory nude scanner tests.
The testing is to prevent gender rows in future games.
The scanner that will be used will be similar to the one being used at Manchester Airport's Terminal 2. It will however also measure 'gender characteristics'.
A spokesperson for an athletics committee, when asked to explain what is meant by 'gender characteristics', said: "Well ... you know ... size of breasts ... hips ... muscles ... eh ... and so on ..."
It will be for the operator of the scanner to decide whether the athlete is indeed male or female.
Asked whether the operator's judgment could be trusted, the spokesperson replied: "A man knows when what he is seeing is a woman. And a woman sure as hell knows that what she's seeing is a man. Trust us on that!"
