The Punch & Break Heard Around Boise

Funny story written by Leon Peon

Friday, 4 September 2009

BOISE, Idaho -- An ugly performance by Oregon in a 19-8 loss at Boise State on Thursday night turned uglier immediately after the game when Duck senior running back LeGarrette Blount broke his hand after punching Bronco linebacker Byron Hout.

Blount grimaced and shouted because Hout has a steel plate in his jaw.

An ESPN replay showed Hout taunting Blount as the teams converged onto the field. As a Bronco assistant coach moved to separate Hout from Blount, the Oregon senior threw a right cross that connected with Hout's right jaw. Hout went down and popped right back up. Hout and his teammates laughed as Blount writhed in pain.

Oregon athletic director Mike Bellotti said after the game he would consult with the Pac-10 Conference office before taking any disciplinary action.

Boise State replayed the punch several times on the giant screen in the north end zone of Bronco Stadium. As the crowd laughed at Blount, he was escorted off the field by Oregon assistant coach Scott Frost. A Boise State fan was heard shouting: "You crooked, broke hand bastard. Serves you right!"

After the game, a contrite and tearful Blount came out of the locker room.
"I should have handled that situation a lot better than I did," Blount said. "I apologize. We will never have a game like this again. … The game, as it went on, just got more frustrating and more frustrating for me in general. I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have done anything."

A reporter asked Blount why he was crying.
"Hell, you would cry too if you broke your hand," exclaimed Blount.

Oregon head coach Chip Kelly said he saw neither the incident on the field nor replays. Whatever Bellotti and the Pac-10 decide, Blount also will have to deal with an unhappy Kelly.

"There's no place in college football for that," Kelly said. "…This [Boise State] is a heckuva football team. It shouldn't be marred by something after the fact. They beat us, and to react poorly after the game is not what we're all about. I just told the kids in the locker room that we have to learn how to play with emotion, not let emotion play with us. When you go out and get beat in a football game, you go out and shake that guy's hand and you go in the locker room and prepare for your next opponent. That stuff has no place in our program and won't have any place in our program."

Blount carried the ball eight times for minus-5 yards. He also caught two passes for 13 yards. X-rays confirmed that his hand is broken. Doctors state that it will take 6-8 weeks for Blount's

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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