Usain Bolt fastest man ever on the planet has been accused by ex-Olympic gold medal winner (when no-one else was participating apart from Lichtenstein and Andorra!), Lynford Christie, of not having a "Bunch of grapes!
Lynford was well known as having a bigger "Bunch of Grapes" than anybody and still holds the world record for more "SWINGS" than anybody over a hundred metres!
Back in the days of the first tight Latex running suits Lynford's "Bunch" was quite obvious and although proving a handicap (and bruised thighs!) he swung em merrily all the way to the finishing line!
Usain has no such problems, his "Bunch of Grapes" fails to swing and be noticed, hence the enormous times being run!
Lynford thinks this is the reason for his gigantic (not his grapes!) successes and feels with such a small "bunch" he could have run much faster!
Chines medical expert, WAN-KIN-DIK has arbitrated in the discussion and issued the following statement:
"Its true Lynfords "Bunch of Grapes" were massive and slowed him down!"
"Usain's "Bunch" is slightly smaller ("what, I's a black man, man and I's big, claimed Usain!") but with the advancement of modern technology, we clamp his "Bunch of Grapes" between his buttocks, this can save 10ths of seconds!"
Lynford ultimately acknowledeged the fact that Usain is a fast "Mother Fucker" but decided to drop his pants to prove that he still holds the 100 metre world record in "Grape Swinging, OUCH"!!!
