London, England: As the tension mounts ahead of the fifth and final Ashes test Australian all-rounder Shane Watson has added spice to what is already sure to be a hard-fought encounter.
Prior to the fourth test Watson boldly claimed that Aussie speedster Brett Lee was not fit to play. This view was contradicted by Lee himself only days later. A sheepish Watson claimed that he was only echoing what the team physio had previously said.
Now Watson has added diplomat to his growing resume, labelling Flintoff a "twat who needs to get over himself". Watson had been asked his opinion of Freddie's post wicket celebrations, which some members of the Australian camp had already suggested were excessive. Watson added that Flintoff "is no Glenn McGrath or Shane Warne. By going on like he does it shows he is not a team player. It can't be good for team unity".
Flintoff, when asked to comment, ridiculed Watson's claims stating "The guy's a joke. He was picked as an all-rounder and only bowled three overs in the last test. And to say I'm not a team player is a case of the pot calling the kettle black. What did he say about Brett Lee? If I was in the Australian team I would have pissed in his locker".
The Spoof can exclusively reveal that members of the Australian team did, in fact, let Watson know exactly what they thought of his comments. A team insider revealed to us that all manner of bodily excretions were involved, not all of which were human in origin.
