Written by Chamone

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

image for Wanking to be Olympic Sport by 2012

The noble art of masturbation is amongst a number of proposed events to be considered for inclusion by the 2012 Olympic games in Britain.

Wanking is believed to be the most popular pastime amongst males between the ages of 13 to 99 - with female participation being more secretive, and therefore, harder to count.

Lord Byron Honeysuckle - who won Olympic gold in '96 for farting in a fat man's face - said that wanking stood a very good chance of being accepted:

"It represents all the criteria of a high quality sport - stamina, resilience, hand to eye coordination as well as pacing", he said.

If successful, Britain could increase its chances of bringing home medals due to the nations 'wanker' mentality.

"We could really give the Chinese a run for their money this time", he added.

The other events fighting for inclusion are 'finding the remote control in the dark', 'vacuuming the stairs' and the dare-devilish 'hailing a taxi on a Saturday'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Olympics, Wanker




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
53 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more