The noble art of masturbation is amongst a number of proposed events to be considered for inclusion by the 2012 Olympic games in Britain.
Wanking is believed to be the most popular pastime amongst males between the ages of 13 to 99 - with female participation being more secretive, and therefore, harder to count.
Lord Byron Honeysuckle - who won Olympic gold in '96 for farting in a fat man's face - said that wanking stood a very good chance of being accepted:
"It represents all the criteria of a high quality sport - stamina, resilience, hand to eye coordination as well as pacing", he said.
If successful, Britain could increase its chances of bringing home medals due to the nations 'wanker' mentality.
"We could really give the Chinese a run for their money this time", he added.
The other events fighting for inclusion are 'finding the remote control in the dark', 'vacuuming the stairs' and the dare-devilish 'hailing a taxi on a Saturday'
