Manchester United flop Nani is joining Cristiano Ronaldo in Madrid for some shopping trips and maybe the odd drink here and there. The terrible player is not actually being bought by Real Madrid but merely brought in to offer 'companionship' for the World Player of the Year.
"Think of it like this:", said Madrid President Florentino Perez, "Ronaldo is the prize race horse, the champion, the fine breeding, the king of kings. But sometimes a beautiful horse can get lonely all on his own despite all the pampering and attention. So what do breeders do? They put a sheep or a donkey in the field to keep the star attraction happy, that's what!"
Commentators are convinced that Nani will fulfil the 'donkey' role impeccably.