Los Angeles, CA: A baseball game between PETA and Sierra Club members is scheduled here today in Dodger Stadium. FOX TV News has agreed to empire the game, with the Sierra Club being the home team.
Some preconditions had already been agreed to, prior to the game, such as no meat hot dogs and hamburgers are to be sold during the game. Also no beer or other beverages will be sold in plastic or Styrofoam cups during the game. MLB has provided fine china and Waterford Crystal to the fans for today's game.
There was a meeting of the Team Captains and the FOX empires on the mound to settle a few remaining issues before the first pitch was thrown. PETA objected to the use of Leather or Horsehide being used for the baseballs and Sierra club objected to the use of Ash wood and Aluminum bats because of the rareness of the wood and the energy required to refine Aluminum, respectively. This back and forth chatter about baseball equipment and uniforms went on for about an hour before the players of both teams took their respective positions and the game began.
The fans gave the players of both teams a tremendous welcoming ovation! Some of the adults were heard responding to questions from their children, as they ate their veggie burgers and sipped beer from tulip glasses. "Dad, why are there 18 semi-naked people on the field wearing biodegradable diapers and paper gloves, using hard cheese bats and throwing around Guava baseballs?"
The proceeds from today's game will be donated to the American Livestock Farmers Association to feed hungry children.
