Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 20 April 2009

image for Manchester United Boss Sir Alex Ferguson Calls For Penalties To Be Re-taken
Berbatov practising today

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has today unleashed a scathing attack against the FA groundsman responsible for preparing the Wembley Stadium pitch for yesterday's FA Cup semi-final defeat at the hands of Everton, and has called for the penalty shoot-out to be re-staged.

United lost the shoot-out 4-2 on penalties, but Ferguson is angry over the length of the grass, the 'sponginess' underfoot, and the overall 'deadness' of the surface.

He also hates losing.

Today, Ferguson called FA headquarters and said that, after thinking things over last night, and having had a chat with his wife, he must insist that the shoot-out be held again - possibly behind closed doors.

An FA response is expected at around 5.15pm.

Dimitar Berbatov, the moody Bulgarian striker who nonchalantly missed his penalty against the Blues, doesn't give a toss one way or the other.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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